Link and Shadow Switcheroony!
by Devil Dark Shadow
Summary: Part 5 finally up! Sorry for the wait!! This is what happens when you get sucked into the game after bashing that button a little too hard... Rated PG for mild swearing.
1. Oops! There I go!

Just something I came up with whist being bored by Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.  Enjoy the insanity!

Shadow and Link Switcheroony

Shadow sat there, playing on her N64 with the most amount of concentration you could put into any video game.  Why, she wasn't quite sure, maybe it was the only way she could start off the story I don't know, but anyway she'd just started a new game, listening to the ever informative and very dull words of the Great Deku Tree for the 14 millionth time when all of a sudden…

**Shadow:** C'mon!  This is BORING!!  (Hammering the A button repeatedly) Skip it!  Skip it!  Skip it!  Skip it!  Skip it!  Skip it!  I'VE DONE THIS ENOUGH TIMES ALREADY!!!!

After pounding the A button until it was almost permanently lodged into her controller there was a BIG flash of light!!  (Very original I know)

**Shadow: **Ooooo!!!  (Reaching out to touch it) Pretty!!

Meanwhile, in Hyrule… 

There was a very similar, maybe even the EXACT SAME flash of light in Young Link's house!

**Link: **What the hell?  Hey!  I can see through it!  Man that's a messy room.

The next thing he knew, Shadow came hurtling through the strange vortex and landed right on top of him.

**Shadow:** Whoops!  HEY!  I'm in Link's Treehouse!  Man, this is SO unoriginal!

**Link: **…  Oww……

**Shadow:** (Getting of off him) Uhh, sorry.

**Link:** (Getting up) That's okay.  Hey, where'd you come from?  That weird little room?

**Shadow:** MY ROOM IS NOT WEIRD!!!  It's, umm, very untypical, that's all.  Really…

Link was about to say a stupid little smart-arsed reply when all of a sudden a HUGE gust of wind sucked him into the vortex!

**Link:** Cr---------------------ap!!!!!

Then, the vortex just closed!  Just like that!  Can you believe it?  Well, use your imagination then!

**Shadow: **Oh dear…  I have an idea where this fic is going…

Now switching to Shadow's room… 

A vortex opened in her TV and Link careering through it, straight into the wall.

**Link:** (Pulling his head from the wall) Ow again.  (Looks around) Hey, I'm in that messy tip.  Oooooo!!!  LOOKIT!!!  There are pictures of me on the wall, I HAVE A STALKER!!!  Oh wait, there are more pictures of Sheik than there are of me…  Fine…

Then Link heard something, it sounded like…

**Link:** OOOOOOOO!!!  Sausages!!!

Link went running into the kitchen and saw Shadow's mum cooking sausages in the kitchen for supper.

**Shadow's Mum:** Oh you're here, that's good you can help me with the…

Shadow's mum trailed off when she realised that Link was standing where her daughter should've been.  An anime sweat drop appeared on the side of her head as she edged towards the broom.

**Shadow's Mum:** Ahhhhhh!!!  FREAK BOY!!!!!

**Link:** (Grabbing a plate) Can I have some sausages please?

**Shadow's Mum:** What have you done with my daughter you…  Are those POINTY ears?

**Link:** (Touching his ears) …  Um, yes…

**Shadow's Mum:** Oh gosh, I KNEW this would happen.  I kept telling her that if she stared at that screen long enough she'd go insane!  (Runs up to Link and starts to shake him) I know you like to dress up as your characters but save it for the parties okay?  Now take off that costume at once!!

**Link:** What costume?  These are my normal clothes.

**Shadow's Mum:** You mean…  You're the real thing?  You're that Link person?

**Link:** Yep!  That's right!  I'm Link, the (quickly) soon to be (normally) Hero Of Time!!

**Shadow's Mum:** (Clutching the broom tightly!) Get out of my house you little freak!!!!  (Starts to chase Link with it)

**Link: **(Running around whilst being hit by the broom) I just wanted some sausages!!!

**Shadow's Mum:** Gahh!!  That's it, I need to get out of here and…  Ahhh!!  Get me out of this house!!!

Shadow's mum jumps through the window running to find some help, leaving Link all alone with the food.

**Link:** (Holding knife and fork ready) Yum!!

And now back to the Treehouse… 

**Shadow:** Great, now what?  The main character of the game is in my room and I'm stuck here.  I'm sure this idea's been done before.

She looked down at her clothes and saw that they'd been changed from her usual jeans and Link Park hoody into a full Sheikah outfit.

**Shadow:** Oh YES!!!  I can see an up side to this.  Hee!  I have some swords and everything!

Shadow got up, looking at Link's checklist on the wall.

**Shadow:** What's gonna happen to me now?  Oh doesn't Nav…  Oh Goddesses no!!!

Navi appeared, flying through the door in a rather staggered motion after whacking her head against the stupid wooden structure in the Training Centre.

**Navi:** Hello! Li—  What the?  You're not Link!!

**Shadow:** Well noticed…  I'm Shadow!!

**Navi:** (Searching frantically around the room) Ahh!  Where is he??  He's the main character and he's slacking off!!!  Gaaahhhh!!!

Navi flew up to Shadow and started to bash into her repeatedly.

**Navi: **Where is he?  HUH?  Where did he go?!!!??

**Shadow:** Umm, right now?  I think he's in my room.  He got sucked into a portal and we switched places, you know.  It happens a lot.

**Navi:** …  Of course…  Well in that case I guess YOU'LL have to do!!!

**Shadow:** I KNEW that was gonna happen.  Stupid me for not thinking of a better plot…

**Navi:** You what?

**Shadow:** Nothing!  Let's get going!

**Navi:** The Great Deku Tree wants to see…  Well not you but anyway, let's go see that tree!!

Shadow nodded and Navi disappeared inside of her.  Shadow looked around for the caffeine-soaked fairy.

**Shadow:** Where the hell are you??

**Navi:** I'm inside you fool!  Now let's get going!

**Shadow:** Oh no you don't!  That's icky!  Anyway, all the other Guardian Fairies stay outside of their partners, why do YOU have to be so lazy?

**Navi:** Well, we have to go on a HUGE quest!  I get tired…

**Shadow:** Nuh uh, come on.  OUT!!

**Navi: **Make me.

Shadow held out her hand and somehow a can of beans appeared.

**Shadow: **You see this?  This plus my mouth equals very bad smell, got it?

**Navi:** Eep!  Okay, okay I'll leave.  Sheesh you don't have to get all…  Weird on me here.

Navi left Shadow's body and they both walked outside onto the balcony of the treehouse.  Outside, they saw Saria with her Guardian Fairy come running to the bottom of the ladder.

**Shadow:** You see that?  I don't see her fairy complaining about having to fly.

**Navi:** Fine, let's just get this over with already.

Shadow jumped down to the bottom of the small ladder right next to Saria.

**Saria: **You're too tall to be a Kokiri!  Where's Link?

**Shadow:** Of course I'm taller than you!  I'm sixteen for crying out loud!  As for Link, he's on a little trip right now and I'm filling in for him.

**Saria:** Oh, fair enough.

Shadow ran past the small green haired girl over to where Mido was.  She already had two swords so she should've been able to get through to the Deku Tree no problem, but then Mido being Mido just had to get in her way...

**Shadow:** What do you mean?  I have swords and they're 'equipped' as you so put it.  Let me through!!

**Mido:** Well, umm…  YOU DON'T HAVE A SHEILD!!!  I can't let you through sorry.  Anyway, unless you find the Kokiri Sword I won't let you through anyway so nyah!

**Shadow: **But..!  But……  Oh this is going to get annoying…

So Shadow ran to the Training Centre, raiding Mido's house of everything he owned before going there, yes all 11 rupees kids!!

**Shadow:** I must keep telling myself, stealing is baaaaad, but so much fun!

After squeezing through that tiny little hole (I have no idea how) she ran to the left to get the sword and got run over by the boulder many many times on her way.

**Shadow:** Damn huge thing!  I forgot about that.

**Navi:** Stupid girl…

**Shadow:** Will you please SHUT UP!!!!

Then making her way to the overpriced shop she stole a Deku Shield (which was much to small for her) while the guard wasn't looking and then walked back to Mido.

**Mido:** What's that?  Oh, you have a Deku Shield.  And WHAT'S THAT???  I…  Is that the Kokiri—

**Shadow:** (Pushing him out of the way) Yeah yeah, tiny sword 'good grief' I know what you're gonna say.  (After he disappears) Moron.

Some Deku Babas appeared in front of her, and disappeared just as quickly with one slash of her blades.  Shadow ran up to the Deku Tree to hear his oh so boring words of wisdom.

**Deku Tree:** Oh Navi, thou hast returned.  Link…  Or whoever thou wouldst happen to be, welcome.

**Shadow:** Really?  You're not gonna as me where Link went?

**Deku Tree: **Well, I dost not really care about whether Link is here or not, so long as SOMEONE can get this stupid spider ***** out of mine body.

**Shadow:** Heh.  The Great Deku Tree sweared!  That's a first.

**Deku Tree: **Let me fill you in about mine current situation.  I have been curse, I need you with your wisdom and—

**Shadow: **Oh PLEASE!!  Enough with the explanations already!  I know, I go in, break the curse and you die.  Can I please just get it over with?

**Deku Tree:** Umm, alright.  (Opens his mouth)

**Shadow:** Oh man, he stinks of pine.  Ah well, the sooner he dies the sooner I get out of here.  (Enters through the Great Deku Tree's mouth)

Back to where Link is… 

**Link:** Mmmmmm……  Sausages yummy.  Much better than Malon's stupid Cucco Pie.  What else has this place got?

Link spies the TV, which is right in front of him (SOMEONE'S short-sighted) 

**Link:** (Turning the TV on) Hey!  It did something!  Let's see.  (Flicks) Advert (Flicks) Advert (Flicks) Advert (Flicks) Advert (Flicks) Advert (Flicks) HEY!!!  SKATEBOARDING!!  I've no idea what it is, but it sounds cool!!!

So what's gonna happen?  Will I die in the Deku Tree (most likely knowing me)?  Will Link be brainwashed by the addictive box that is television?  Will Navi ever stop annoying you?  Answers (well, some of them) in the next chapter, if you like this one (hint hint!)


	2. Inside the really big, freaky, strange t...

Hee!  Hope you like this chapter!  I did this very late so if there are a loada mistakes well, blame it on the sleepiness.  Enjoy…

So Shadow was walked through the Deku Tree with her annoying partner following her.  She saw the spider's web across the large hole and started to jump up and down on it repeatedly.

**Shadow: Whee!!!!  Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy!!**

**Navi: Hey!!  Hey!!  Hey!!  Hey!!  Hey!!  Hey!!  STOP BOUNCING ALREADY!!!**

**Shadow: But it's so much fun!!**

Navi darts around trying to persuade Shadow to get off the spider's web and gives up realising that it's hopeless.  She flies to the other end of the tree and then back, bashing into her and pushing her off balance.

**Shadow: Waaaaaaa!!!!  (Falls on the floor near a Deku Baba)**

**Deku Baba: Grr (Snap snap)**

**Shadow: Oh shut up.  (Slices the Baba's head off)**

**Navi: (Flying up to the vines) Listen!  Look at this wall!  The vines growing on it give it a rough surface, maybe you can—**

**Shadow: Oh yeah!!!  (Starts to climb it)**

**Navi: Heeeey!!!  Let me finish!!!**

Shadow climbed up the vine and looked around to find a chest near even more vines that had Skulltulas crawling all over it.

**Shadow: Yay!  Spider squishing time!!**

**Navi: Oi!!!!  You're meant to open the chest first!!!!**

**Shadow: But I know my way around the dungeon anyway!!  I don't need the Dungeon Map!!**

**Navi: Well fine, but you still need the slingshot!!!**

**Shadow: (Climbing the vines and trying to swat the fairy) Oh, shut up.**

Then a Skulltula came and bit Shadow, knocking her straight off the vines and through the spider's web into the pool below.

**Shadow: OWWWWWW!!!!!!!  This water is way to shallow!  I think I broke something!**

**Navi: Too bad it wasn't you neck…  Hey, was that MEANT to happen?**

**Shadow: I don't think so…**

**Navi: See!  You need the Fairy Slingshot!  And some Deku Sticks!  C'mon, back up.**

**Shadow: (Climbing the never-ending vines) I am NOT looking forward to the spending 7 years with you…**

Meanwhile, back in Shadow's house…… 

**Link: Whoa!!  These tricks look so cool!!!  There's a Kickflip to Indy!  Hey, Darkslide!!  One Foot Japan??!  OH MY GODDESS HE PULLED OFF A 900!!!!!**

Link got up, turning off the TV.

**Link:_ I've GOT to get me one of those.  Hmm…  (Reaches into his pocket) I wonder if they take rupees, probably not.  Let's go find some money…_**

So Link ransacked the entire house, well just Shadow's room actually.  Her room was so messy that she probably wouldn't have noticed stuff was missing anyway.  I mean seriously, you could takeaway 500 things from her room and it wouldn't look any different.  But anyway, eventually, Link found three slips of paper with an old women's head on it, all saying '20'.  (Yeah, I wish I had that much)

**Link: (Sniffing it) Hmm, smells important. (I have no idea how something can smell important)  This must be money!!!!!**

Link happily skipped all the way to the Skateboard shop, well actually it was a long way away.  In fact, it was so far that by the time he reached there he was panting for breath and crawling in exhaustion.

**Link:** This… is why I…  need Navi…  To tell me not to do stupid things like that!!  (Looking up at the shop's sign) Ooooooo!!!  'Conspiracy'!!  Wow!  Even the place that sells the skateboards sounds cool!!!

He walked into the shop and gasped in awe at the amount of skateboards and surfboards and loadsa funky T-shirts there were on offer.  He went up to the glass counter which had a load of skateboard parts in it, Link couldn't help but drool over them.

**Lady at Counter:** Umm, can I help you..?

**Link:** (Dumping the money on the counter and running off with one of the skateboards) Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank yoooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!

**Lady at Counter:** (Waving a £10 note) Wait sir!  You forgot your change!  I— (slips the money into her pocket) Oh well, I tried…

**Link:** (Giant grin growing on his face) Yay!!!!  I can skate!!!  Now to find a skate park…  (Good luck Link, there are NO skate parks in my city!)

Then, my fellow author buddy came walking down the street to also buy a really cool skateboard.

**Dark Angel:** Heeeeeeey!!!!!  YOU'RE LINK!!!  Right?

**Link:** (Remembering the last time he told someone who he was) Maybe…

**Dark Angel:** Aww man!!  That's the board **I** want!!  Give it here!!!

**Link:** (Holding it above his head, away from her frantic jumping grasp) Go buy your own!!  Why's this one so special?

**Dark Angel:** It looks like Tony Hawk's!!  It's got the skully-birdy thing and everything!  GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!

**Link:** (Running away) Nooo!!!!

**Dark Angel:** (Running after him) Hey!!  Wait!!  That's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!!!  Awww c'mon!!!  I'll teach you cool tricks!!!

And now, back inside that giant tree… 

**Shadow:** Ha!!  See?  I told you I know where I'm going!!

Shadow started to do a merry little jig after picking up the Fairy Slingshot.

**Navi:** (Whacking into her again) Stop dancing you weirdo!!!

**Shadow:** (Falling of the ledge) Waaaaaaaaa!!!  (Lands) Ouch!!!  What IS it with you and whacking into me?  Can't I have ANY fun???

**Navi:** (Looking meanly) What do YOU think?

Shadow whipped out the Fairy Slingshot and bashed Navi over the head with it, semi-permanently knocking her out (No, she is NOT dead!!  Yet…  Mwa ha ha ha haaaa).  Stuffing the tiny white blob into a sack that she suddenly had, she went outside and shot down all the Skulltulas on the vines.

**Shadow:** Ha!  Payback you little insects!!  Die!!  DIIIIIEEEE!!!!

After realising that she was starting to sound a bit too much like a knife-wie— err I mean slingshot-wielding maniac (it just doesn't sound as intimidating) she climbed up the vines, stole the Compass and then stared at the biiiiiiiiig drop.

**Shadow:** Aww man!!  I already broke the web, I should just climb down instead.  Anyway, like I said before, the water is just too shallow.  I probably WILL break my neck!  Ah well, now to walk back without anyone attacking me and just—

Shadow got cut off by a Big Skulltula coming down and bashing her off the (high) cliff, knocking her aaaaaaaaaaaaall the way back down to the (dangerously shallow) water.

**Shadow:** (Upon impact) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This would be SO much easier if I was 10!!!!  Young Link doesn't know how easy he got it…  (Checking to see if she broke anything) Hmm…  I don't think so…  (Hears something snap)

Slowly she got up, limping over to the door as a Deku Baba lurched out of the ground.

**Deku Baba:** Argh!!!  (Snap snap)

**Shadow:** I SAID shut up!!!  (Slices it)

A long stick, possibly a DEKU Stick appeared were the Deku Baba had died.  (This is NOT like Pokémon, things DO die!!!  Sorry kids…)

**Shadow:** Oooooo!!!  Stick!!  In fact, not just any stick, A DEKU STICK!!!!  (Looks around) Oh dear, this is bad.  I'm getting excited by looking at sticks.  Oh well.  (Skips to the door)

Unfortunately, Shadow forgot that you actually have to OPEN the door before you can skip through it.

**Shadow:** (Whacking into it) Oh yeah, I actually have to open the door before I can skip through it.  And how many times am I gonna put 'Whack' in this fic?  (I'm sorry, it's just such a useful word!)

Then, A DEKU SCRUB APPEARED!!  (Hide the little children!  Shield their eyes!!)

**Deku Scrub: **Nya!  (Spit spit)

**Shadow:** Oh, now I know what broke my fall!!  The Deku Shield!  Oh wait…  That's not good……

Then she got pelted by numerous Deku Nuts whacking, sorry, _bashing_ (there we go) into her.

**Shadow:** (Whack) Ow.  (Whack) Ow.  (Whack) Ow.  (Whack) Ow.  (Whack) STOP HITTING ME ALREADY!!!!!!!!

**Deku Scrub:** Oh, sorry.

**Shadow:** (Staring at him) Sorry?  SORRY???  I'll show you what sorry means you— Hold on a sec.  You're not meant to stop!!  You're meant to keep hitting me until I reflect it back you, prat!!

**Deku Scrub:** Really?

**Shadow:** YES!!!

**Deku Scrub:** People shoot them back?  That's not nice.  I only shoot nuts because people want them, are you SURE you don't want more.

**Shadow:** Y…  You...?  Because people want them?????  You're not trying to kill me???

**Deku Scrub:** Goddess no.  I wouldn't hurt a… umm…  I wouldn't hurt you!

**Shadow:** (Unsheathing her swords) Well for someone who's not meant to kill, you're doing a very poor job—

**Deku Scrub:** Wait!  Wait!  I'll teach you something!!!  Don't kill me, I have information!!!  If you tilt the—

**Shadow:** Just open the door, Scrub.

**Deku Scrub:** Yes ma'am!!!  (Ducks back into his grassy patch)

So, Shadow waked through into the next room.  She saw a platform floating over a pool of water with spiked log rotating above it making a very annoying 'CLICK click click click click CLICK click click click click' sound (that IS how it goes!!!!)

**Navi:** (Waking up and flying up to Shadow) You don't—

**Shadow:** (finishing her sentence) Don't want to hear it, no.  Is this right?

**Navi:** Aww who cares!!  Just dive in the water and…  Shadow..?

Whilst Navi was talking, Shadow had already jumped on the moving platform and the were both heading towards the spiked log.

**Navi:** Shadow?!!

**Shadow:** What is it, stupid fairy?

**Navi:** You're meant to jump in the water first!!!  If you hit that log you'll lose half a Heart!!

**Shadow:** Heart?  Ooooooh yeah!!!  Hang on, (looks up in the top left corner of the… uhh, screen?) I don't see any Hearts…

**Navi:** Maybe Link took them with him.

Cut to Link… 

**Link:** (Pulling tricks off on the board) Heeeey!!!  Look at meeeee!!  I can griiiiiiiiind!!!

**Dark Angel:** See?  I told you I'd teach you cool stuff!

Then Link saw someone else on the rail, grinding the OTHER way.

**Link:** Oh crap!!  Watch out!!!

**Guy:** Huh—?

Before the guy could ollie out the way they both collided on the rail.  Link fell down, landing on his left arm really hard.

**Link:** Owwwww!!!!

**Guy:** Hey dude, you okay?

**Link:** (Getting up and rubbing his arm) Man, that hurt!!!

**Dark Angel:** Shouldn't you be, umm, bleeding profusely by now?

**Link:** No!  Look up there!  They follow me wherever I go!

Dark Angel and the Guy look above Link and see three heart dangling above him, one's slightly darker than the other two.

**Guy:** Dude???  What the HELL are they??

**Dark Angel:** He's Link you twat!!!  From a GAME!!!!

**Guy:** Oh yeah…  That makes TOTAL sense!

**Dark Angel:** Well, actually…  That's a point.  What the heck are you doing here?

**Link:** Lessee, where do I start…?

Cut back to Shadow and Navi… 

**Shadow:** You know what that means?  (Holding her arms up like Boris from Goldeneye) I am invincible!!!

**Navi:** No, you're just strange…  Hey!  The log!  Look out!!

Shadow just took an effortless hop and jumped over the large piece of wood.

**Navi:** Wha—?  How did you DO that?

**Shadow:** Well duh!!  That may be big for a 10 year old but I'm **16**!!!  I could step over that thing if it wasn't for that moving platform.

**Navi:** Oh.  Okay then.  Anyway, come over here so I can bore with my lecture about how to push and pull a block.  Press A when facing towards it to grab it.  Whilst holding the block you can push or pull it by…  Hey?  Are you even listening?

**Shadow:** (Waking up) What?  Sorry?

**Navi:** (Darting up and down across the room) Why do I even bother?  Basically you use the Control Stick to—

**Shadow:** What the hell??  Control Stick??  In case you haven't noticed, NO ONE IS PLAYING THE GAME!!!!

Navi flew up to the camera and looked carefully through it.  All she saw was an unmade blue bed and a lot of mess, and there were a lot of silver round things with holes in the middle.

**Navi:** That's really untidy.  What are those things??

**Shadow:** What?

**Navi: **Those silver holey things.

**Shadow: **They're CD's!!!  Don't you know anything??  I've got loads!!

Then, Shadow realised the ultimate horror for any greebo (person who listens to a lot of rock music all the time) who was stuck inside a video game.

**Shadow:** I CAN'T LISTEN TO MY MUSIC!!!!!  NOOOOOO!!!  I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS STRANGE GAME MUSIC INSTEAD!!!!!!!

**Navi:** (Sensing the chance to get rid of her easier) Well, the faster you complete the quest, the quicker you can get to your music then!  You know, you're a strange one—

Before Navi could continue her annoying rant Shadow grabbed her and did the rest of the dungeon in double-quick time until eventually they were in the Boss room.

**Shadow:** (Trying to cope with the lack of brilliant rock music ((You know it's true!)) Singing one of her rock songs) Pushy little children!!  With their fully automatics!!  They like to push the weak around!!!  (System Of A Down if you don't know!)

**Navi:** What on EARTH are you singing????????  You said game music was weird…

**Shadow:** Shut up!!  I need my music!!  Hey, what's that white writing in the middle of the room..?

Parasitic Armoured Arachnid 

QUEEN GOHMA

The huge spider jumped down from the ceiling and the white letters became more obvious.  Striking an evil pose, Gohma started to attack.

**Shadow:** (Looking at the words) So THAT'S how they do it…

**Navi:** Well, at least you stopped singing!

**Shadow:** That's 'cause I can't think of a song!!  (Starts thinking of one) Hmm, I need inspiration dammit!!!  Isn't there an electric guitar anywhere?

**Navi:** (Sarcastically) Yeah, because electric guitars are always found in the middle of big trees!  Dumbass…

**Queen Gohma:** I can play a pretty mean base!!!

**Shadow:** Wha—?  YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK!!!!!!  And how the hell can you play a base guitar anyway, you have no fingers!!!!

**Queen Gohma:** Oh that's it!!  I was gonna be nice to you but now I'm gonna have to kill you right now!!!!

**Shadow:** Like you weren't going to do that anyway…

Queen Gohma started to get very annoyed at the Sheikah-dressed girl and her eye started to glow a very dangerous red.  (Hmm, maybe I should run?  Nah…)

**Queen Gohma:** I'm gonna kill you and stop you from ever going home again!!!!

**Navi:** You know what that means?

**Shadow:** No.

**Navi:** You'll never get to listen to your music again!!!!!  Think of all the repetitive Ocarina Songs you'll have to endure!!

**Shadow:  **O_O      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  DIE EVIL SPIDER!!!!!!!

Without warning, Shadow thrust forward with her sword and caught straight through Gohma's eye.  (Icky I know, c'mon!!!  You shot Deku Seeds at her!!  Imagined what it's like to be catapulted in the eye!!!) Then the giant spider died a very quick death and all was…  not really well but close enough.

**Shadow:** Hey lookit!!  There's a blue warp!  My ticket outta here!

**Navi:** Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  Hey!  You have to pick up the Heart Container first!!

**Shadow:** I don't actually!!!  (That's true, you ever tried doing this game with just 3 Hearts??  Very VERY hard!!!) But what the hell, I'll get it anyway.

So she picked up the Heart Container and a box appeared underneath her as she held it high in the air for no apparent reason at all and boy this is a long sentence I think I'm going to stop it just about somewhere near here!!

**Shadow:** Okay, NOW can I go?

**Navi:** Go go GO!!!

After hitting the winged white splodge they made there way to the blue warp and both blacked out.

Now, to where Link, the Guy and my mate are, Link had finally finished explaining how Shadow had been taken to Hyrule… 

**Guy:** Wow, that's really confusing…

**Dark Angel: **So my mate's in the '64?  Sweet!!  I can finally get my games back!!  You got her house key?

**Link:** Uhh, hold on.  (Whips key from out of nowhere) here we go!  Oooooo!!!  It's BLUE!!!

**Dark Angel: **Cool!!  Let's go to her house!  I can borrow Toxicity from her seeing as she never actually got around to giving it to me…

**Guy:** Can I come too?

**Dark Angel:** THE HELL???  We don't even know who you are!!  Okay.

After making their way to my house… 

**Link:** I wonder if she has any more sausages?

**Guy:** Oh yeah, the stupid author forgot to tell you what my name was.  I'm called Guy.

**Dark Angel:** Figures.  Remind me to hit Shadow for being so unoriginal.

**Guy:** Okay.

**Link:** Hey look!  The TV's on!  There's Navi!

They all crowd around the TV.

**Dark Angel:** Hey that's Shadow!  What the hell is she wearing?

**Guy:** How many times are you going to say 'hell'?

**Dark Angel: **Oh, sorry.  Oh man, they're going through that stupid Goddess speech.  Do you reckon I can skip it by bashing the A button over and over and over again?

**Link:** (Reading the fiction on the Internet) Well, according to the summary, that's how she got there in the first place.  If you wanna trade places feel free…

**Dark Angel:** How the hell did that happen?

**Guy:** You said it again!!

**Dark Angel:** Shut the hell up!!!  (Knocks him out)

**Link:** Whaddya reckon will happen if we turn the power off?

**Dark Angel:** Let's find out!!!

Will Dark Angel and Link turn off the power?  Will I stop going insane over my lack of music?  Will Dark Angel borrow my CD?  In fact, what the hell am I doing letting her in my room??  Possible answers in the next chapter.

Yeah soz.  Anyway, **for the record** Dark Angel doesn't say 'hell' that much in real life, but oh well.  Tell me what you think?  Love it?  Hate it?  Why?  Ah well I'm sleepy, goodnight…  -_- zz z z Z Z 


	3. Heading for the ever so popular Hyrule C...

Hee!!  ^o^/  Thanks for waiting everyone, hope you like this chapter! Part 3 

Shadow appeared in front of the big fat tree and guess what, she had to go through yet another really long speech that she already knew almost off by heart!

**Deku Tree:** Well done Shadow.  Thou hast—

**Shadow:** Oh great, here we go…

**Navi:** Don't be so disrespectful to the tree!  (Hits her)

**Deku Tree:** Now I have yet more to tell ye, wouldst thou li—

**Shadow:** No!  I don't CARE!!

**Deku Tree:** No Shadow, my time is short—

**Shadow:** Oh PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't say anything!!  I know what you're going to say!!  Some crap about the Goddesses and stuff right?

**Deku Tree: **Will you stop interrupting me you %^&*ing little %$$&^%$

At that point, both Navi and Shadow stared in disbelief at the giant stump.

**Deku Tree:** I mean, please?

**Navi:** (Unable to handle such obscenities **(I think that's the right word) **and covering her eyes) …  The…  The Great Deku Tree swore?????  Again???

**Deku Tree:** Oh, stop acting so innocent you b**chy fairy!

**Shadow:** Hey!  Oh crap I didn't censor that out!  Great going you stupid tree, DON'T MAKE ME CHANGE THE RATING!!!!!!

**Deku Tree:** You can't stop me!  B**ch!  B**ch!  B**ch!  B**ch!  B**ch!  B**ch!  B**ch!  SEE????  I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!

**Shadow:** Okay, now you're scaring me…

**Navi:** Great Deku Tree!!  Please!  Stop the swearing!!!  Won't somebody think of the children?

**Deku Tree:** Oh, stop ripping off The Simpsons!  No one can stop me!  I—  Urk!!

With that, the Great Deku Tree died and went all black and horrible and set Shadow's Rumble Pak on overdrive.

**Shadow:** Great, I'm gonna have to buy some new batteries for that now.

**Navi:** O_O;;;  The…  He…  It's DEAD!!!!!!!!

**Shadow: **And the winner of the 'Most Obvious Quote Of The Day' award is…  Navi!!!  (Sighs) Hey!  I didn't get the stone!  I NEED that!!

**Navi:** Hold on.  (Flies into the dead tree and takes the Spiritual Stone of the Forest) Here you are!  The Kokiri's Emerald!

**Shadow:** (Snatching it) Yes, I know that!  Geez you are ANNOYING!!  Uhh, I mean, thanks.  Now!  Let's go see Princess Zelda!

**Navi:** You're very…  you…  And by that I mean insane.

**Shadow:** I swear, the next irritating person to get in my way will DIE!!!  You understand???

**Navi:** ………………………………………  -_o;;;

Shadow ran back through the path with the not moving Deku Babas and then some annoying person decided to block her way.  Can you guess who it is?  Yep, MIDO!!!

**Mido:** Hey you!  What did you do to the—?

**Shadow:** Tree dead.  You small.  Me pissed.  Get out of my way.

Mido decided not to be stupid and stay there after remembering what happened last time he got in her way.  Then Shadow ran ran ran to the Lost Woods bridge with a lazy Navi trailing behind.  There, she met Saria.

**Saria:** Yay!  You're leaving!

**Shadow:** Isn't it, 'Oh, you're leaving'?

**Saria:** …  Yeah, sure whatever you prefer.  Anyway, seeing as the sooner you complete the game the sooner you leave, I've got something to help you!

**Shadow:** …  Joy…

**Saria:** I want you to have this Ocarina, please take good care of it.

**Shadow:** Ohh, can't it be something else?  Like something that has strings and makes GOOD music and is electrical?  You see where I'm going with this?

**Saria:** This is a forest, you expect electricity?

**Shadow:** Yeah!

**Saria:** How?????

**Shadow:** Several reasons.  Music's playing and I don't see a band so you must have a stereo somewhere here, I have a hyperactive fairy and she must run on SOME kind of battery.  Oh yeah, and this is a GAME so therefore it needs it to run!!!  And if you can't do that well, you're a Sage, can't you magic me one or something?

**Saria:** (After hiding the stereo) Okay, here you go. (An electric guitar that somehow doesn't need electricity appears)

**Shadow:** AWW YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

Then, a little box appeared beneath her.

**Box:** You got the Funky Guitar!  This is a gift from Saria to help you get lost faster!  On the Select Item Sub—

**Shadow:** Oh…  I can't STAND these tutorials!!  Bye!!

Shadow and Navi both ran off into Hyrule Field.  Saria stood there, waiting for them to disappear from sight.

**Saria:** Hey everyone!  They're gone!

All the other Kokiri appeared from their hiding places.

**Mido:** Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  Let's PAH-TAY!!!!!!

In Shadow's room… 

**Dark Angel: **(Reaching for the power switch) This'll be interesting.

**Guy:** Hey?  What ARE those Kokiri kids doing?

Dark Angel got up and looked at the screen.  There she saw Shadow and Navi leaving the Lost Woods and a lot of green kids dancing and screaming at the tops of their voices 'Yes!!  They're outta here!!!!'

**Link:** ………  Strange…  I wonder if they did that when I left?

**Dark Angel:** I doubt it, but they probably did when Navi disappeared.

**Guy:** Oh, you're another Navi-Hater then?

**Dark Angel:** Yep!  I can't stand the twitchy blob of… strange stuff.

**Link:** Who can?

Both Dark Angel and guy stare at him.

**Link:** What?  What did I say?

**Guy:** Uh, huh…  How long have you spent with Navi?  You must like her!

**Dark Angel:** Or gone insane with immense amount of 'Hey's.  Ugh… *Shivers*

**Link:** I am NOT insane!  (Starts to run into the walls and screams) I need AP!!!!!  I need AP!!

Dark Angel whacks him over the head with a controller.

**Dark Angel:** That's the wrong game!  Since when do you play Legend of Legaia?

**Link:** Legaia?  LEGAIA????  Who said anything about Legaia!  I NEED AP!!!  (Runs into the wall again)

**Guy:** Dude, that bathroom's that way (Points)

**Dark Angel:** Not that kind of P you moron!  AP!!!  Ability Points!!  **(A/N: I think that's what it is…)**   
**Guy:** Oh, then you mean Final Fantasy?  AP's in that, I think I got my Bahamut mastered—

**Dark Angel:** Yay for you…  (Pats him on the head) If you don't know what Legend of Legaia is then, well, umm…

The doorbell then started to ring, which is strange seeing as I don't have a doorbell outside of my house, it's not even a house it's a flat!!  And where the hell did that doorbell come from?????

**Link: **Ooooooo!!!  DOORBELL DOORBELL DOORBELL!!!!!!  (Runs off to answer it)

Another three of my friends where stood outside, Angel, Skye and Arikara (Another author buddy) all shivering.

**Angel:** Let us in!!  Let us in!!  Let us in!!

**Arikara:** It's cooooooooooooooooold!!!!!

**Skye:** Hold on, that's not Shadow…

All of them stared blankly at Link.  Then Arikara, who knows how game obsessed I am, recognised him.

**Arikara:** Shadow?  You dressed up as Link?  I thought you were more of a Sheikah girl…

**Angel:** Oh good it is you, we can go inside right?  Good.  Thanks!

All of them pushed their way into Shadow's house, erm, flat, oh whatever, I'm just gonna call it a house from now on.  Anyway, in they came.

**Skye:** You went into a lot of detail this time didn't you?  You even got the ears!

**Angel:** What are they, plastic?  Clay?  Cookie dough?  Mmm…  Cookie Dough…

**Skye:** Let's see if she's got Ben and Jerry's!  You don't mind do you Shadow?

**Link:** (Just going along with everything) Umm…  No, go ahead.

Angel and Skye went off to raid Shadow's freezer, leaving Link alone in the living room with Arikara.

**Arikara: **So why did you dress up?  There's not another fundraising event at school again is there?

**Link:** ……  Yes.

**Arikara: **Really?  I didn't know that.

**Link:** Umm…  Well my teacher said there was gonna be one and I overheard him…

**Arikara: **Him?  You don't have a guy teacher.

**Guy:** (From Shadow's room) Did someone call me?

**Arikara:** Who on earth is that?

**Link:** Umm, no one…  No one at all, I…

**Dark Angel:** (Running outside to see who's there) Hey, Arikara!!

**Arikara:** Dark?  What are you doing here?  I thought you were out getting a skateboard.

**Dark Angel:** I did!  Kind of…  Well no I didn't because STUPID Link got the one I wanted!

**Arikara:** (Looking at him) What??  That's the real Link??  You're joking!!

**Dark Angel:** Nope!  (Tugs on Link's ears)

**Link:** Oww!

**Dark Angel: **See?

Angel and Skye ran back into the living room with a big tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream (I can really advertise…), armed with spoons and bowls.

**Arikara:** How…?  What…?  Why is Link here???

Angel: Oh that's Link?  Then where's Shadow? 

**Skye:** Ahh who cares?  That means more Cookie Dough for us!!

Dark Angel: Okay, let me explain… In Hyrule Field… 

Shadow had just run past Lon Lon Ranch with a fistful of feathers in her hand.

**Navi:** You didn't HAVE to attack the Owl you know.

**Shadow:** I hate tutorials!!  They're just 'Blah blah blah, let me explain the same thing over and over even though you know it anyway'!  Do you KNOW how annoying they are???

**Navi:** I gathered.  Because of your hatred towards lectures you skipped the whole explanation of Hyrule's existence and now we have a half bald Kaepora Gaebora who wants to kill us!!!

**Shadow:** You worry too much, he never said he was going to kill us.

**Navi:** Yes he did!!  He said quite clearly: 'You stupid little Sheikah £$%^&!!!!  I'm going to $%&ing murder you!!!!'

**Shadow:** I'm pretty sure that there weren't any dollar bills or percentages in his speech…

**Navi:** Stupid!!  It's called censoring!!!  Do you want this fic to be any worse than it already is?

**Shadow: **My fic is NOT crap!!!

**Navi:** Yeah?  Well because of your stupid story, I got stuck with YOU!!!!  Do you know how much that irritates me??????????

**Shadow:** (Running over the closing drawbridge) I don't really care…  

**Navi:** Hey!!  Wait up!!  Ack!!  The drawbridge is closing on—

With that Navi got squashed and fluttered onto the floor.  Shadow just sighed and picked up the flat-pancake-like fairy and shoved her in her pocket.

**Shadow:** (Laughing insanely) Hee hee!!  Squashed-ded fairy!!  (Runs into the door)

**Guard:** Man, the night shift is SO boring!!  Hey you!

**Shadow:** Huh?

**Guard:** How about we let of some steam by breaking these jars?  Or I can just stand here and watch you break them as I don't move at all during the first part of the game but ah well.  Press A to—

**Shadow:** Excuse me??  Are you another person who's going to try to teach me how to do something that I already know?  Please don't, because if you do I'm going to get very mad and maybe…  umm,  I don't know, but no one here likes it when I get mad. (Remembers what happened to Queen Gohma) Hee hee hee, staby staby!!!!

**Guard:** Okay, you're just a bit TOO freaky for me.

**Shadow:** (Smashing a crate and killing the Gold Skulltula) Ooooo!!!  ^o^  A token!!!  (Runs into the Market)

**Guard:** Strange twisted psycho…

In the dark Market (yeah, it's dark!) Shadow saw that there were loads of little dogs running around.

**Shadow:** Oooo!!!  Cute little doggies!!!  (Runs up to one)

After running into one of the dogs, it started to follow her everywhere.

**Shadow:** Hee!!!  It liiiiiiiiiiiikes me!!  I—

Then Shadow was cut off by the sound of some girl singing in a really out of tune voice.

**Malon:** Oooo oo oooooooooo!!!  Oooo oo oooooooooo!!!  Oooo oo ooooo oooooo oooooooooo!!!!

**Shadow:** What the heck are you SINGING????

**Malon:** Hey!  Your clothes, they're…  different.  You're not from around here are you?

**Shadow:** Please, do I have to go through it again?  Just give me the egg!!!

**Malon:** (Catching sight of the twin swords with Gohma's blood and a couple of feathers on it) Umm, okay…  (Hands over the Weird Egg)

**Shadow:** Thank you!!  (Runs off to the Castle)

So Shadow ran to the Castle, evaded the guards and snuck in (I really can't be bothered to go through it all, it's a fic!  I can do whatever I want in this!) and low and behold, Zelda stood there, but Shadow couldn't be bothered to talk to her just yet, so she got out her Slingshot and decided to shoot things.

**Shadow:** (Shoots) Take that Ghoma!  (Shoots) Take that deranged History teacher!  (Shoots) Take that you stupid townie who hates greebos!!!!  I HATE those sort of townies!!!!  **(A/N: Please don't make me explain what a townie is…) **(Shoots window with Mario pictures in it) And TAKE THAT you stupid person who came up with the idea of this fic….  Oh wait, that was me.. oh well.  OOOOOOO!!!!!  20 RUPEES!!

She picked up the rupees and then an evil thought came into her mind.

**Shadow:** (Thinking) I'm gonna smash ALL the windows, nee hee hee ha haa!!!

And then she shot the window with a vase in it and a stupid, slightly slanted guard appeared!

**Slightly Slanted Guard:** Hey you!  Don't cause trouble!  (Throws a Bomb)

**Shadow: **Oh yeah!!  You come out here and say that!!  In fact (Picks up Bomb) I'm gonna throw it back at you, you stupid little—  (Gets cut off by the Bomb exploding during her yelling fit) ……  That…….  really…… REALLY…….. hurt…..  (Collapses)

Zelda turned around to see a faintly singed Shadow lying on the floor.

**Zelda:** ?  Who..?  Who are you?

**Shadow:** ……  (Not replying due to the fact that a Bomb exploded in her face)

**Zelda:** How did you get past the guards?

**Shadow:** (Gasping) I…..  I thin… you need….. nuuu guardssss…..  (Navi falls out of her pocket)

**Zelda:** Is that a fairy?  Then, then you must be from the forest!

Shadow stood up, now she was the one who was slightly slanted.

**Shadow:** (Regaining herself) I wandaledda please.

**Zelda:** What?  I can't understand you.

**Shadow:** (Shaking her head and getting very impatient) I.  Want.  The.  Letter.  Please.

**Zelda:** Huh?  But I've got to tell you about the man with the evil eyes!  And make funny noises when you say you won't keep my secret and don't believe me!  Also, I have to explain about the Tri—

**Shadow:** NO TUTORIALS!!  OR EXPLANATIONS!!!  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS OKAY???

**Zelda:** (Writing nervously due to the psycho that was standing before her) Okay okay, here you go, but if anyone asks I told you about the Triforce okay?

**Shadow:** And here I was thinking that it was supposed to be a family secret…  (Spots Impa) Ooo!  ^_^  Another Sheikah!!!  (Runs over to her)

**Impa:** No explanations?

**Shadow:** (Shakes her head) Nuh uh.  Just the song.

So Impa began to teach Shadow Zelda's Lullaby, after Shadow played it on her Funky Guitar and stared at it very strangely (trying to get into character here) they teleported out and Impa disappeared.

**Shadow:** (Looking around) Weird.  I have to learn how to do that.

Navi recovered after having all the fairy breath squashed out of her.

**Navi:** Ooo, that was fun!!!  Can we do it again?????  Hey!  Look!  Listen!!!!!!!

**Shadow:** What's more worse than a caffeine-addicted, insane fairy?

**Navi:** A caffeine-addicted, insane fairy that has a tune stuck in her head!!!!!!!  (Starts to sing to the tune of Happy Birthday) Link the Hero sure sucks!  Link the Hero sure sucks!!!  Link the HEEEEEERRRROOOOOOO sure does suck, Link the Hero sure sucks!!!!

Meanwhile, all of the crew are watching this happen… 

**Link: **(In shock) Navi, how could you betray me like this?

**Guy:** What??  You were the one jumping around shouting when she got squashed by the drawbridge!!!!

**Link:** Really, I don't remember.  I have these memory lapses and they sometimes……….  (trails off and doesn't say anything else)

**Angel:** Link?

**Link:** Huh, what?

**Skye:** (Sighs, hey that rhymes!) What were you saying?

**Link:** Oh I don't remember!!!  Leave me alone!  I need AP!!!

**Dark Angel:** Oh shut up!  Guy, what he was saying when Navi got flattened was something along the lines of 'Oh YES!!!  Thank the Goddesses!!  The b**chy fairy is dead!!!!' or something…

**Arikara:** So, we gonna turn the power off or what?

**Dark Angel: **Let's see what happens.

So what's gonna happen then?  Even I'm not sure (nah, I have loads of ideas, I just get memory lapses sometimes, they're quite…………………….)  Anyway, enough of overused jokes!  Next chapter up soon-ish.  Thanks for reading, and might I say that because I'm listening to them at the time, **Adema rock!!!!!!!**

*~*~Shadow~*~*

By the way, anyone that saw The Lord Of The Rings, do you think that Legolas looks like Link?


	4. The friends are up to something...

Yeah I know I haven't written anything in a while, sorry it's just I've been busy trying to do stuff for my art site but I'll try to even it out!  Once again I ask for your patience, and thank everyone for reading. Part 4 

(I think it was somewhere in Part two where Dark Angel said 'Remind me to hit Shadow for being so unoriginal'  Well guess what?  SHE DID!!  (Rubs her arm) Oh well…  I still love her!  (Runs after Dark) (Dark runs away) Noooo!!  Come back!!

After learning Saria's Song and getting pelted by a lot of Mad Scrubs, Shadow made her way to Goron City.  Well, actually she didn't because some STOOPID guard was in her way during the middle of the night.

**Shadow:** It sure got dark fast…

**Guard:** Stop talking to me!   Can't you go to the Graveyard or something?  PLEASE?????

**Shadow: **Let me through!!!!  I have to save the world!!!!

**Guard:** (Smiling) Yeah.  Sure you do buddy!  (Whacks her with his spear) Weirdo.

**Shadow:** I have PROOF!!!!  (Shows him the letter) See??  That's Zelda's writing!

**Guard:** Oh, let's see…

This is Shadow…

She broke into the Castle!

Someone, please help!  She's scary!

Don't you DARE let her through!!!!!

*\/\/\Zelda/\/\/*

**Shadow: **WHAT????  That stupid b**ch!!!!  Gaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

**Guard:** Oh, buggar off!!

**Shadow: **Fine, but I'll come back to haunt you!!

**Guard:** What?  You're not even dead you moron!!

**Shadow:** Oh but I a-am…  And if you don't let me through I'll—

**Guard: **If you were a ghost you'd have gone past me anyway thicko!  What do you take me for?

**Shadow:** Oh but I wi-ill!  (Starts to wave her arms slowly) So if you don't let me through I'll just have to possess you!

**Guard:** (Smiling) Go on then.

**Shadow:** o_o? What?

**Guard:** I'm not gonna let you through so you're just gonna have to possess me!

**Shadow: **But…  But it's all evil and scary!  Are you sure you just won't let me through and spare yourself the torture?

**Guard:** Mmm………………………………………………………………………….  No.

**Shadow: !_! **Oh, you stupid $%^&!!!!  I—!

Shadow started to kick the guard, kick kick kick him.  Until eventually she got bored and realised that she had two knew songs to learn anyway.

**Shadow:** Oohh!!  But I already KNOW them!

**Navi:** Please.  Just stop complaining.

**Shadow:** You can't make me!  I'll start to sing!

**Navi: **Ack!  No!  ANYTHING but that!  Why don't you just go and learn the Sun's Song?  Then maybe talk to Saria?  If you do I'll stop shouting 'Hey' every 5 seconds!

**Shadow:** Okay dokey.

She ran to the Graveyard that was, for now, annoying-kid-who-won't-let-you-move-the-graves-without-threatening-you free and she saw Dampé looking as pleasant as ever.  In fact he was so happy that he was skipping whilst he walked.  Shadow found that a bit strange so she decided to find out what brought on this sudden burst of non- Dampé-ism.

**Dampé: **Doo be doo be doo be dooo!!!

**Shadow:** Umm, why are you so happy?

**Dampé: **Haven't you heard??  Someone saw Navi getting flattened by the drawbridge!!  She's dead and everyone's happy!!  Yay!!!!

At that point, Dampé started to twirl his spade much like Cloud in Final Fantasy VII…  Until Shadow decided to bust him with her own swords for ripping off another game.

**Shadow:** Stop doing that!!!  You're RIVALS!!!

**Dampé:** I can still like the actions…

Finally, Navi realised what Dampé had said about her and started to dart back and forth through his ears.

**Navi:** Hey!  Hey!  Hey!!  You're not meant to hate me!!  LOOK AT ME I'M ALIVE YOU SEE??  SEE???

**Shadow: **(Looking at her through his eyes) Navi, get out of his head.

**Navi:** Nooooooo!!!!  He hates me!  He hates me!!

**Dampé:** But we ALL hate you!!

**Navi:** Well….  WELL I HATE YOU SO THERE!  You're evil and strange and…  YOU SMELL!

**Shadow:** SHUT UP NAVI!!!  (Puts her hand inside Dampé's head and drags out the little fairy) Now come with me and learn that song!

With that they walked away over to the tomby-thing and Shadow got out her Funky Guitar.

**Navi:** Wait!!

**Shadow:** Oh NOW WHAT????

**Navi:** You should get the Hylian Shield first then it's FREE!  If you don't you'll have to wait another day and maybe even have to PAY for it!

**Shadow:** What do you care?  You don't pay for ANYTHING!!  And—  Hang on, you're not supposed to give away secrets!  I'm meant to figure it out myself!!

**Navi:** You mean you never knew there was a..?  (Sighs) Gamers these days…

**Shadow:** Shut up I KNEW it was there so nyah!  (Does the Japanese stick-out-your-tongue-whilst-pulling-down-your-eyelid thing) **A/N: I actually do that, just ask Dark Angel!**

**Navi:** You knew?

**Shadow: **Of course I did!  I play this game all the time!

**Navi:** Well let's go get it then!

**Shadow:** Wha—?  No!!  I don't need a smelly shield.  And anyway my hands are full with these two swords!

**Navi:** Well LINK never carried two swords!  No siree!  You see he was smart, well smart enough for him anyway, he knew that even though you have the offensive you've also gotta have to **DE**fensive and so he went out and took that shield and—

Navi cut off halfway through her stupid speak and realised that Shadow had left her behind.  Thanking the Goddesses that she hadn't been struck by the lightning that opened the tomb **(A/N: We all know it happens, that's why whenever Link does anything she always flies away!)** she went and flew in after her.

**Shadow:** (Killing all the Keese and going through the door) Felt like joining me then?

**Navi:** Yeah I.. guess…  Geez I don't even know why I follow you around, you don't really use Z-Targeting seeing as no one's actually using the controller.

**Shadow:** Well, you do have **SOME **uses.

**Navi:** Like what?

After asking that, Shadow pushed the little fairy in front of a ReDead.  The ReDead screamed and froze the white blob and started to bite it, leaving Shadow free to run past it and learn the song.

**Navi:** Ack!  Shadow!  Help!!  It's munching on me!!

**Shadow:** (Reading the stuff on the wall) Oh just bash a load of buttons or fiddle with the control stick or something.  Works for me.

**Navi:** DO I LOOK LIKE A CONTROLLER TO YOU??????  Ack!!  It bit off my ear!

**Shadow:** You don't have an ear!!

**Navi:** Of course I do!  How do you think I know what you're saying?

**Shadow:** Because everything we say comes up in a box at the bottom of the screen!!

**Navi:** (Looking below her) Oh yeah.  Well that still doesn't change the fact that he's trying to eat me!!!!

**Shadow:** Hold on, lemme learn this…

At ye olde house of Shadow-sama 

**Guy:** (Rolling on the floor laughing his arse off) Oh my God!  You guys have to look at this!!

**Angel:** What?  Wassappaning?  Wassappaning????  (Read it and try to say it, it makes sense!)

**Arikara:** What are you saying?  What are you saying?

**Dark Angel:** Ha!!  The ReDead's biting Navi to itty-bitty pieces!!  Go Shadow!!  **(A/N: ((Checks spellcheck)) Hey!  Itty-bitty is a word!!)**

**Skye:** Gotta love that Funky Guitar.  I want one!!!

All the others turn to look at Skye.

**Skye:** Well I do…

**Angel:** How cute…  Umm…  Oh it's boring watching TV!!  Can't we do something else?

**Link:** Like what?

**Dark Angel:** Hey, it's Shadow's house and Link scared her mum away, we can do whatever we want!

**Arikara:** Let's throw a party!!!!!!

**All:** Yeah!!  PAH-TAY!!!

**Guy:** Who should we invite?

**Dark Angel:** Hang on, we gotta get food first.  In case you forgot Link ate everything in the freezer.

**Link:** Well…  THAT'S ONLY BECAUSE SKYE ATE EVERYTHING IN THE CUPBOARD!!

**Skye:** (Gulps) I was hungry…  And anyway these two helped me!  (Points to Angel and Arikara)

**Dark Angel:** So it's just me and Guy that haven't had anything?  Man, no wonder I'm hungry.

**Link:** I found some money for the skateboard, there should be some more…  somewhere…  **(A/N: Good luck…)**

They all look around the house and eventually they find a WHOLE……………  £10.

**Dark Angel:** This…  is all…  she has……?

**Angel:** Nooooooooooooooooo!!  We have to get some more!!!

**Skye:** (Starts to chant) Steal it!  Steal it!

They all look at her again.

**Skye: **What?  What's your problem?  Huh??  HUH????

**Guy:** Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with stealing…

**Angel:** And we're using it in a way that will help kids get out of the house and meet other people…

**Arikara:** Plus it's not like there's anyone here to stop us…

They all smile evilly.

**Link:** Let's go find some unsuspecting old people!!

**Dark Angel:** You sound like you've done this sort of thing before…

**Arikara:** Why the elderly?  Why not from some corner shop?

**Link:** Well in one of my games I tried to steal from a shop, but when I went back in there the owner kinda zapped and killed me.  I've been known as THIEF there ever since.  (Anyone know where that's from?  Heh heh heh)

**Dark Angel:** (Laughs) Oh yeah I remember.

**Skye:** Well anyway, let's all go to the supermarket!

After learning the Sun's Song Shadow made her way back to Kokiri Forest… 

**Shadow:** Okay, let's find Saria.

**Navi:** (Groans) Why did she have to hide, I mean it would be so much easier and then you could leave and we'd all be happy.

**Shadow:** I dunno, I'm kinda getting used to life here.

**Navi:** No no no!!!!!  Um, I mean think about it!  If you stayed here forever, you'd have to put up with ME!!!  And you know how much that would drive you insane!

**Shadow:** Eep!!  O_O  You're right!!  Let's get going!

So they both headed into the Lost Woods and after completely losing her sense of direction a few times and getting pelted by Skull Kids for being big they made it to the Sacred Forest Meadow.

**Wolfos:** Arwwwwww!!!!

**Shadow:** Shut up.  (Blasts the little Wolfos to hell)

**Navi:** O_O;;; Now that was **MEAN**!!!!!

**Shadow:** Oh whatever, it's not that cute, and it was trying to kill me!!

**Navi:** Bu—  But that was still downright evil!!  (Looks at the decomposing body of the poor little Wolfos) Ewwwww……  Okay I've seen enough let's go.

After once again running in the wrong direction and being whacked (I LIKE that word!!) by Mad Scrubs eventually they found Saria and she really didn't look to pleased.

**Saria:** &£$^!!!!  I forgot you had to come back.

**Shadow:** Song please.

**Saria:** Okay, try to follow along with the—

**Navi:** JUST PLAY THE SONG!!!!!!  YOU **DON'T** WANNA MAKE HER MAD!!!!

Saria, gulping, did as Navi told her and in a few moments Shadow had learned the song and stared strangely at the Funky Guitar (Again, trying to get into character)

**Shadow:** Alright!!!  Let's go and meet Darunia!!!

Thanks to you all!  ^_^  I promise that this is one story I will most definitely finish!  Thanks!

*~*~Shadow~*~*


	5. Climbing up a mountain Stealing some mon...

It's been a while I know, sorry once again I've been focusing too much on one thing and not enough on another and I'm not gonna promise not to do it again because I know I probably will…  (Hey I'm only human!  For now…)  Ahh well, for those of you who've been patient and stuck by me just for this chapter, enjoy. Part 5 

**Dude:** Hey you!  Pointy-eared freak!  Come back with my money!!

**Arikara:** Run Link run!!

Link had just managed to mug an unsuspecting person in town and was now legging it as fast as he could back to the others.  As they were all hiding they realised that this might not have been so easy as they planned.

**Angel:** No!  NO!!  Don't come here you moron!!

**Dark Angel:** He's not stopping!  RUN!!!

**Link:** Hey guys!  Thanks for waiting for me!

**Angel:** Link you IDIOT!  I—  Uh oh!  He's seen us!

**Guy: ** Awwww crap!!  Quick we've got to get out of here!

Running as fast as they could from the enraged guy with the now-empty- wallet Link found them a "safe" place to hide.

**Link:** Quickly!  In here!

**Arikara:** Okay I…  LINK!!!   THAT'S A POLICE STATION YOU PRAT!!!

**Link: **Exactly!  They'll protect us from that weird dude-guy-person…  Won't they?

**All:** NO!!!

**Link:** Oh dear…

Just as they were about to be caught by the dude-guy-person, a car pulled over by our unsuspecting group.

**Mystery Voice:** Get in!

And seeing as the Dude was now pret-ty close to where they were they all jumped in the car!  (Yes, all umm hold on *Counts* 1, 2, 3……  6 of them)  Yeah, all 6 of the group managed to fit into this car, don't ask how, just trust me.  I'm writing the fic remember?  Oh wait, am I?  Yeah I'm pretty sure I am!  Aaaaaaaaaanyway!!!!!!

**Link:** Hey, there's no horse pulling this thing??  How the heck are we moving??????

**Skye:** Look, I think if we can accept the fact that you're a COMPUTER CHARACTER that's traded places with one of our best friends and is now in the real world you could find more things interesting than a CAR!!!

**Link:** I want one…  Let's steal it!

**Guy:** We've created a monster here…

**Dark Angel:** I've just realised something.

**Arikara and Angel:** What?

**Dark Angel:** We have no idea who's driving…………

They all turn to look at the driver, and seeing as there were six of them squashed in the back seat it was a pretty hard thing to do!!  In the driver's seat they saw………………………..

**Shade:** Hey everyone!

**Angel:** Oh no!  Shade's driving?  Let me out!!  Let me out!!

Saying that she stuck herself half out the window and saw the Dude still chasing after them (Wow, he can run fast!)

**Angel:** Ahhhh!!!  Let me in!!  Let me in!!

**Arikara: **Hey Shade, wow.  What are you doing conveniently driving past to help us escape whilst we stole money from an unsuspecting Dude?

**Dark Angel:** Yeah, What??

**Shade: **I saw you back there talking about stealing money, and I didn't like that guy so I sent him right in your direction.  See I can help.

**Skye:** Oh, CONVENIENT.

**Shade:** Yeah I know.

_Whilst climbing up a funny named mountain…_

**Shadow: **(Singing) Skipping, skipping, skipping up a mountain!  Making it hard for myself but I don't caaaaaaaaaare!!!!!!  (Collapses)

**(A/N: Full lyrics and music available at **www.outofallproportion.co.uk** I will buy that one day)**

**Navi:** Oh come on!!!!  WE'RE SO CLOSE!!!!  Look!  The entrance's right there!

**Shadow:** (Looks up) So it is. (Scrambles to the city)

**Navi:** Woah, sudden energy burst!

Inside Shadow and Navi both heard funny music that sounded very…  Funny.  Inside was (believe it or not) A GORON!!!  And what made this Goron so special was that it was a Goron with A NECKLACE MADE FROM ROCKS!!!!!

**Rock:** Hi!  My name is Rock!  Welcome to Goron City Miss Sheikah!

Welcoming her with the ceremonial necklace, Rock placed it around her neck and sent her face slamming straight to the floor.

**Shadow:** Oww…  (Getting up)  Heavy…

**Navi:** (Bursts out with laughter) Ha ha!  Idiot!

**Shadow: **Obnoxious fairy…  (Regaining herself)  Aren't you meant to be extremely hungry and crying for food?

**Rock: **Am I?  Oh yeah!  The pain!  The pain!  I am so hungry and need food!

**Shadow:** Well, (picks up the necklace) why don't you just eat this?

Screaming insanely, Rock whacked the necklace out of her hands and into the pit below.  Shadow turned around to face him with a rather bewildered expression on her face, something a bit like o_O??? perhaps?

**Navi:** Huh?  WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR????  There was some perfectly good Goron food there!!!!!!

**Rock:** You expect me to eat THAT???

**Shadow:** Well YEAH!!  How the hell are you starving, there's food all around you for crying out loud!!

**Rock:** Surely you don't believe that we, the high classed Gorons, could eat something that just came off the floor?

**Shadow:** (Looking confused) ……  Where else do rocks come from?

**Navi:** Maybe they eat MAGIC ROCKS!  Mwa ha haa!!!  (Drinks more coffee)  HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!!  Magic rocks……

Slowly, Rock backed away from the coffee-addicted hyperactive fairy that was buzzing about and screaming 'Magic rocks' off the top off her head.

**Shadow:** Umm, Rock?  I think you should…

Unfortunately, Rock backed up just a **LITTLE** too much, and went plummeting down the pit to his death (sorry folks).  **(A/N: Thanks again Dark Angel!)**

**Navi:** Uh oh…  Did I do that?

**Shadow:** Let's just get out of here…  Now.

So, doing things the right way, Shadow and Navi both ran down stairs (or just Shadow, as Navi just kept up with her by pure coffee-flavoured flying power).  As they got to one of the lower floors Navi was once again run over, only this time by a rolling Goron.  Strangely enough this caused her to explode and stop the huge stone-like creature dead in its tracks.

**HotRodder Goron:** Arrrrr….  Grrr……

**Shadow:** Oh great, now look what you did…

**Navi:** x_x¦¦¦  Wha—  How did I just blow up…?  (The effects now kick in) Oh hey!  I can see stars!  AND FAIRIES!!!  Wow so I **DO** exist!!!

**Shadow:** Unfortunately…  Anyway, let's go see Darunia!!

Then, outside the door, Shadow and Navi meet yet another Goron!  (Where do these things keep coming from?

**Flint:** Hello, my name is Flint!  What the hell are you doing here?

**Shadow:** Umm, I'm here to see Darunia.  (Bangs on the door) Let me in!!  Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!

**Flint:** Ooooo I wouldn't do that!  You know Big Brother Darunia is scary when he gets mad, but guess what!  I know his **secret**.  Hee hee hee.

**Shadow:** Yeah, well so do I so (Starts to play Zelda's Lullaby on the Funky Guitar)  Bye bye!  (Runs away) Crazed freak, like **I'M **going to be scared by a bunch of pixels…

**Navi:** Well, technically you are too…

**Shadow:** Shut up!  If I can't hear you it's not true!!

Running away from the annoying white compound of fairy dust Shadow run into Darunia's chamber and straight into Darunia himself!

**Shadow:** (Looks up) Umm, hi!  (Pulls herself away from him) Ouch, what are you made of rock or something?  (Knocks his chest) Hee hee, fun!

**Darunia:** WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE FREAK???!!

**Shadow:** I well umm you see there was this big flash of light and I came through and met Navi and now I have to do the entire game all by myself I already met Zelda and she taught me this very funky song you see and then I saw Impa and Saria and oh let's see who am I missing out oh yeah I have to see Malon now I remember will you please give me the bracelet so that I can get out of here and then go visit her because the quicker I get Epona the quicker I can leave you know!!!

**Darunia:** (Bewildered by the continuous buzzing noise in front of him) What the hell are you talking about?  Geez!  Haven't you heard of **punctuation**??

**Navi:** Darunia!!

Navi started to dart backwards and forwards in front of the Goron leader in what Shadow could only guess was some magic fairy hypnosis spell, holding out his hand Darunia produced the Goron Bracelet!

**Shadow:** (Talking the bracelet) Thanks Navi! (Runs off)

**Navi:** Hey!  Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

_And now back to Shade's car…_

The whole troupe pulled up outside of Shadow's house, as soon as the door opened the six trapped in the back all dived out scrambling for breath (Well you would too if there were six of you in the back of a Metro)

**Angel:** (Gasps) Need…  air…

**Guy:** I am never doing that again…

**Arikara:** Stupid people, someone should've jumped in the front…

They all turn to stare at her evilly.

**Arikara:** What?

**Skye: **If you thought of that why didn't **YOU** move?!

**Link:** Ladies, let's calm down here…

**Dark Angel:** Oh shut up Link (Pushes him aside) It's whacking Arikara time!

**Arikara:** O_O  Ack!  Noooooooooo!

Whilst they were all pummelling her, (all except Link I should say, who fell into a ditch when Dark Angel pushed him) Shade got out of the car and just sat down laughing, waiting for them to finish.  Until, that is, he saw a stranger, no!  SEVERAL STRANGERS watching them too!!  **(A/N: Oh no!  [Hides])**

**Shade:** Who's that?

**Arikara:** (Pushing everyone away from her) Who's who?

**Angel:** Hey I know them!  It's Stony, Murray and Aussie! (Those ARE their nicknames!)

**(A/N: I know I'm involving a lot of people but just bare with me here!  I'm not gonna focus too much on them!  In fact, let's switch scenes!)**

_Where the Bomb Flowers grow on Death Mountain…_

**Shadow:** Hee hee hee!!  **IT'S BOOM TIME!!!!!**

Quickly she picked up a Bomb Flower and threw it down the mountain with precise aim (Yes I am that good)  After waiting a while, nothing happened.

**Shadow: **Hmm, doesn't seem like it went off.

**Navi:** Well, throw another one then!

**Shadow:** Are you kidding!  If I set them both off I might start a rockslide, you go down and check.

**Navi:** Why can't you?

**Shadow:** Because you can FLY there faster than I can walk, dumbass!!

**Navi:** Ack, fine…

Navi flew down to check on the diffused-idley-type Bomb Flower and waited.  Nothing.  She buzzed around it a few more times to see what had happened, still she found nothing.  Then doing a magic fairy dance she bobbed around the flower a few times until predictably enough it blew up straight in her face.  Once again there was a deflated Navi floating slowly down to the floor.  Up above, Shadow couldn't help but smirk at the now tinged-black blob but was surprised when she noticed the big lump of rock start laughing too.

**Shadow:** Huh?  Is that a Goron?

**Granite:** Yep, hee hee hee.  I put a delay on that plant, do you **KNOW** how long I've wanted to do that for?  **MWA HA HA HAAAAA!!!**

**Shadow:** Too long by the sound of your insane laughter…

**Granite:** Yeah but I was told that I couldn't or else I'd be fired, but hey now that you're screwing up the entire game I can do whatever I want!  (Evil grin) Next stop, Kakariko Village!

**Shadow:** Ack no!  You are NOT bombing a former Sheikah village!!!  (Tries to slash him to little bits but fails due to the fact that he has eaten enough rocks in his lifetime to stop a 10 ton lorry dead in its path)

**Granite:** Ha!  You can't beat me with those puny swords!

**Shadow:** Fine then (Blows him up with a Bomb Flower)

After dealing with one of many demented Gorons, Shadow ran down and scooped Navi into her pocket.  Yes she's about to go in the Dodongo's Cavern people!

Hope you liked it!  Don't worry about all the names anyhow as they'll all blend together, oh yes and I remember a while back I wrote I was **16**, well that's a lie now.  Tell you what, my birth date is 25/06/85, I'll let you all work it out so that I don't have to keep changing my age each time!  ^_^/~  Bye bye!


End file.
